“Why IS the first sign of an abuser saying he loves you within a few weeks. Why would a loving gesture be a sign of abuse? But it was. Thank you for listening!!!”

“I still miss the imaginary life that I thought we would have. It is very confusing to understand and not be able to move past it.”

“Your advice has helped more than you know!”

“He was not honest with me in many areas, but I didn't realize it. The crying, begging, impulsive type appears to be completely upfront and honest. This is not so. You will discover that they have lied and misrepresented many things, even basic facts”

“I ended the relationship several times. He would leave gifts at my doorstep. These actions would melt my heart and make me think that there really WAS a good person in there. I would get hopeful that he would stop shouting and cursing at me. His verbal tirades definitely did lower my self-esteem: my adult children and a few friends remarked at how I had lost my ambition and much of my joy of life”

550 Comments on Dr Carver’s ‘Loser’ Article

Joseph M. Carver, Ph.D.

Dr. Joseph Carver is a Mental Health Professional and
Clinical Psychologist with over thirty years of experience in a variety of settings including inpatient, outpatient, private practice, state hospitals, child-protective agencies, community mental health centers, neuro-rehabilitation, and juvenile correctional facilities. He specializes in the treatment of victims of emotional trauma and abuse, PTSD, and depression and anxiety disorders. His treatment of victims and partners of losers and abusers over the years prompted Dr. Carver to write the internationally acclaimed “Warning Signs of a Loser ”. Originally written as a patient handout to provide “red flags ” to those who have been abused or used by personality disordered partners, emotional and financial con artists, and passive aggressive predatory and parasitic personalities, the article has garnered worldwide attention.

Dr. Carver is the author of “Identifying Losers In Relationships”, “The Dangerous Version of The Loser” and “Love and The Stockholm Syndrome: The Mystery of Loving an Abuser” and is the consulting psychologist for

He is currently in private practice in Ohio.

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